Quit Giving Yourself Away. Three Small Steps on the Path to Empowerment
How do we become more empowered? It’s simple really. Draw a line in the sand and stand on it. Stop saying yes when the answer should be no. Set boundaries and don’t compromise. Our boundaries are based on how much we value ourselves. If that value isn’t high enough, our boundaries will be weak and we’ll give ourselves away. As we do this, we become disempowered.
Have you experienced what can be called the doormat syndrome? It’s usually people who have a need to please that this happens to. We’re often raised to be people pleasers. In order to receive acceptance and love, it’s a game we’re encouraged to play early on (at home and in school) that both creates and locks into our insecurities. If we do play this game the net result is not valuing ourselves highly enough, and being treated badly by others. And it hurts deeply when we give and end up feeling used. It’s ok to be nice, as long as it’s not leading to a false sense of being liked and needed. We all have to set limits on how much we give and we need to be kind to ourselves more than anything else.
Three small steps
Value yourself more
Assess how much you value yourself. Anything less than 100% means there are areas to improve on. Make a list of all the things that make you great. Analyse the areas of yourself and your life that you undervalue and work on raising your score.
Don’t volunteer to play the victim
Remember it’s always our choice to accept another’s behaviour or not. Don’t allow suffering to become your lifestyle. As an adult, no one can take power away from you unless you let them. And if your power was taken from you as a child, seek the best help and support to resolve and heal your past and come back to a powerful place within.
Set clear boundaries for what is acceptable in your life. Don’t tolerate anything less than what you deserve. If you are tolerating bad behaviour, disrespect or anything that makes you feel bad, stop and stand on that line you drew in the sand.
“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” – Toni Morrison